Jan 26

luxortourneyreview Luxor Tourney Review

What’s Crackin Poker Peeps!

Vinny Vegas here, fresh off another Vegas trip (mucking crazy) with a tourney review for yas.

Luxor
Time: Daily 10:30 AM & Noon
Buy In: $35
Starting Chip Stack: 3K
Starting Blinds: 100/200
Blind Periods: 15 Min
Re-entries: No
Players: 2 tables with alternates
Pays: Top 3
Dealers: Morning crew so nothing special.
Poker Room: It’s the Luxor. Probably one of my favorite chill poker rooms in Vegas. Small but always a good crowd.
Tourney Notes: These tourneys are the great way to start your day. You can stumble out of bed at 10:15 or 11:45, pop a few Advil to deal with the effects of the night before, and onto the POKER! The blinds go up fast so your either short stacked or doubling/ tripling up before you know it. This is due to the fact most hands that go to show down are crippling and result in all-ins on the next hand played (if you survive the first show down). Don’t expect to be able to get a good read on players before playing a hand or you’ll be blinded off. It’s intended to be a fast tournament so even if you go deep it wont take more than a couple hours to cash leaving you plenty of other time to go get drunk/ play some Pai Gow/ call a hooker/ play some black jack/ take the hooker back to your room / check out the Lion King at Mandalay Bay/ marry a hooker? What!  Bottom line, the relaxed morning crowd and cheap buy in of this tournament can’t be argued with, so despite the fact its a crap shoot, it’s still fun.

I’m out!
-Vinny Vegas.

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Jan 20

james cameron1 James Cameron wants to Direct 3D Poker Movie

Inspired but the success of his 3D movie Avatar writer / director James Cameron has decided he wants to bring his new technology to poker. When asked how he came to this conclusion he simply pointed out that the high intensity moments that come with poker remind him of blowing up sh#! He also pointed out that films like Rounders are so dated cause nothing pops out at you. “Can you image the dealer dealing cards in your face! That be MUCKING AWESOME!” Mr. Cameron was quoted as saying.

The plot line for his new film has yet to be revealed but sources close to Lightstorm Entertainment (Cameron’s production company) have said that it will be loosely based on young Internet poker players traveling to far off distant tournaments to crush the locals and take their bank roll, with a love story somewhere in between. In addition it has been rumored that new technology is being created to enhance 3D Flops, chips, as well as an entire new type of 3D vision the allows the audience to view characters on the screen as sharks or donkeys based on certain cerebral brain waves…whatever that means.

What’s even more exciting is Cameron has stated he wants to further expand this new 3D  technology to televised tournaments starting with the World Series of Poker 2011. “After I’m through with this game the pocket cam will look soooo 20th century!” Cameron said as he polished his most recent Golden Globe. When asked what he was most excited for he said that, “For the first time audiences will get to experience how mucking overweight Phil Hellmuth is! Not to mention Lacie Jones and Joanna Krupa’s goodies will be so up in our face we could almost muck them!” He said while licking his lips.

Despite James Cameron’s new found obsession with poker some have consider it bad timing due to the recent success of Avatar. Furthermore, some have said it has gone to his head in the worst possible way. A recent report from Vegas said Mr. Cameron lost 1 Mil in a single pot and responded by saying, “Your like the Na’vi and I am going to mucking kill you and take your cash and muck your women hard in the A!” He then went outside to the valet and asked for his mech warrior and told the valet “I have natives to annihilate” and then tipped him with a rock. The source on this report could not be confirmed and Mr. Cameron has refused to comment.

Look for the new 3D Poker Film in Summer of 2012.

-Vinny Vegas

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Jan 18

2010predctions Poker Predictions for 2010

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day everybody. Hope your all celebrating with dignity. And for those who aren’t…well that’s just not cool.
With that said we got to say 2010 has been off to a slow start for us. Too much mucking around or something. But we all know that we have our eye on the prize for this new year. Whether it be more blogging and more jogging, or less flirting and more f@#$ing everyone has something they’ve set out to achieve. However, we bet on the odds and know that some of these things just mucking won’t happen. And some will. Which is why we have compiled our Top 5 Predictions for the Year 2010.


#5 Dealers World Wide will Continue to Get the Shaft
For those who aren’t aware of it there has been a move in some major casinos to phase out dealers with these virtual dealers. HA! That’s a joke. This isn’t A.I. and those Vegas Fat Cat’s don’t realize that what players want is that interaction with the dealers. Especially like the ones at the Hard Rock Casino who are MUCKING HOT AS MUCK! But sad to say we predict this trend will continue to grow and grow…until the uprising of course.


#4 There Will Be Heartbreak with the Hottest Poker Couples
Were calling it, one of these couples (if not both) will not exist in 2011. Vanessa Roussu and Chad Brown and Lex Veldhuis and Evelyn Ng. Why do we see doom for these ill-fated lovers? Well it’s plain and simple. Rock stars call them groupies. Athletes call them Jersey Chasers, and what ever you want to describe these lusty railbirds the fact is they exist. And with traveling to major tourneys and both men and women railbirds it’s only a matter of time before some one goes Tiger Woods on their significant other.


#3 The Shulman’s will Actually Become Humble and Respected
Psych! I think there is a better chance of CardPlayer burning to the ground than that. And don’t doubt what we can do. We’re mucking crazy and love to play with matches. Not to mention we have a stockpile of Petroleum Jelly for some reason.


#2 This years WSOP Main Event Will be the Largest Ever!
If the Rio can step up their game and not fall subject to the same ordeal as last year (i.e. turning people away who want to throw down a 10k buy in) then I do believe we are going to be in for one massive poker orgy! Not to mention the inspiration  Cada and  Eastgate have on the younger generation is going to be something only seen once before. It was 50,000 years ago and man kind walking out of a cave and said who the muck are all these dinosaurs.


#1 A Pro Will Win the WSOP Main Event
What could be better than 2 consecutive years of the youngest winner ever. Why the legalization of gambling to 18 and younger in Vegas like the rest of the civilized world. But before that happens we’re betting a pro is going to finally close the gate Sam Farha opened for Chris Moneymaker and the slew of new talent that followed. Expect to see at least 3 pros at the final table.


And with that said were out to drink a 40 for MLK and enjoy our day off…the new years res shit can pick up again tomorrow.


Peace
The Mucksters
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Jan 1

grouppic 2010 2010 Mucking New Years Resolutions

Vinny Vegas’s New Year Resolutions
Yo! I’m all business this year. It’s poker poker poker. Time to step my game up.

Debbie Deuce Dallas’s New Year Resolutions
Hey poker people. Here is my list. It’s cute and tiny, like me ;)

Cowboy Connor’s New Year Resolutions
Howdy Yall. This year I have a short list. And a much more mucking practical one than last year (I never made it to being the first SpaceCowboy)

  • Get a date with Kara Scott…mmm Kara
  • Prove to Phil Hellmuth he can’t dodge bullets (both with cards and a colt45)
  • Get a date with Lacie Jones…and then name her boobs. For the left one I was thinking, “Heavenly Creature” and the right one shall be called “Righty.”
  • Steal Vanessa Rousso away from Chad Brown. Possibly in fashion of Borat bagging Pamela Anderson.
  • Get Joe Cada to take me to a college keggar! Yeeha!!! Partay!!!
  • Get Lady Gaga to show me her poker face…or let me poke her face.
  • Go on a drinking binge and do a Broadway style reenactment of Rounders.
  • Put a cork in the Mouth’s mouth.
  • Discover that the real Joanna Krupa is much softer than my plastic one.
  • Sabotage Phil Laak so that all his hoods look like the KKK
  • Prove to Jennifer Tilly that she belongs in…porn, and that I should be the costar.
  • Spray paint the Saints-Cowboys score onto Darvin Moon’s lawn. (Dallas 24 New Orleans 17)
  • Find out if Phil Ivey really is the Tigrrrr woods of Poker, if so then I’m taking that fool to Tao Beach, so I can get my Noodle Wet with his leftovers!
  • Teach poker strategy to a bunch of fish, tell them the wrong things, then play them online under an alias and…bring in the $$$$$$$$
  • Be a poker playing SpaceCowboy!! It’s so on this year. Just need to get a huge bank roll so I can rent space ship from NASA or Hertz or something.
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