The
WSOP
Main Event…there’s nothing quite like it. It’s a place where dreams can be won or insta-called and lost. As of now however, the WSOP is the poster child of mucking luck! Seriously…
Cada and
Moon and are some of luckiest mucksters to ever grace the poker table. Sure there is that degree of luck involved in poker…but all this time we’ve been
argueing
to Congress that poker is above a meer chance game because it is based on skill and luck is just a minor factor…however, let us break down the November 9 til we get our two Heads-Up players, Joe Cada and Darvin Moon, and you will see that skill has nothing to do with these two players…well maybe a little…but still!
9th place goes to
James
Akenhead but he was eliminated by Schaffel. The last time I checked Schaffel does not spell Cada or Moon. So this bypasses the luck radar.
8th place goes to
Kevin
Schaffel. Here was the first taste of how luck will dominate things to come. Schaffel pushed all in with pocket Aces only to be called by Buchman’s pocket kings, which ended up becoming quad kings by the river. This also goes to show that pocket Aces are mucking cursed. CURSED I SAY!!!
7th places go to
Phil
Ivey…let us take a moment and tip our hats and toast our glasses for Phil. He was the first casualty of the Moon/Cada 1-2 lucky mucking punch!. We all know Phil was short stacked. So Phil with big slick (Ace King) shoved all-in pre-flop only to be called by that mucking lucky logger Moon who had Ace Queen. Being that it’s Moon and he clearly is cheating on his wife with Lady Luck what came on the flop…a Queen, naturally! Sorry Phil! Aint no room in this game for skill!!!!!
6th place goes to
Steven
Begleiter who was casualty #2 of Moon’s lucky streak. Begleiter pushed all in with pocket Queens and was about to double up when the river told him other wise. Let me paraphrase what the river said, “Oh Steven you want to double up against Darvin, I don’t think so bucko! Your in a no fly zone when it comes against my man Darvin Moon! Here Darvin have an ace, that should do it for Mr. Begleiter! Sianara Steve! Send me a postcard from the LOSERS CIRCLE!”
5th place goes to
Jeff
Shulman. Sure his pocket 7’s didn’t hold up against Saout’s Ace 9 but I am going to put this one in the Karma category rather than luck. You say mean things about the WSOP Bracelet it’s gonna come back to you. There are way too many weird cosmic forces in the Universe to think that Shulman had a chance to win this after what he said and after
how big of a douche his father has been since beating that nice guy Negreanu in the WSOPE! AKA U suck Shulmans!
4th place goes to
Eric
Buchman who lost on pretty legit terms after being crippled by Saout. Let’s leave it that and tip are hats to the Poker Pro who got a 2.5 Million Dollar pay day. Now if only he would work on his interviewing skills and find other things to say besides “you know” and stop looking high all the time. Unless he’s into that thing cause hey, he can buy a lot of
herb with $2.5 Million!
3rd place goes to
Antoine
Saout who was not the first to to experience Cada’s luck (Cada previously doubled up on when his pocket treys hit another on the flop leaving Shulman’s pocket Jack’s inferior! Just like Shulman’s manhood) but any way back to Saout. Awe…sigh…this was Mucking Lucky. And Cada, you should sell Cada’s lucky rabbits feet for good luck! Seriously, people will buy them after I say how you made it to heads up…deep breathe…OK HERE WE GO…Saout is all-in with his pocket 8’s trying to do what Hellmuth calls “Dodging bullets baby” and all of a sudden that mean nasty river clearly has a thing against French people (some things never change in America) and was like “Muck that Antoine” we’re keeping this here championship in the USofA! And low and behold the river gave Cada a King for the better pair. Bye bye Frenchy!!!
So there’s the luck run down/ suck out palooza/what the muck is going on in Vegas?!?!?! The way it stands as of now is that Joe Cada is chip leader with 136,925,000 chips (yes he really was down to just 2 Mil and is that mucking lucky to keep doubling up and up and up and up and…well you get the picture) and Darvin Moon, that lucky logger in the Saints cap (the Saints are still undefeated might I add) who has a mere 58,875,000 chips. So I would say it looks like Cada has this thing all wrapped up but hey these are two lucky Muckers! and anything is clearly possible with these two. I expect to see a lot of odd play and Lady Luck to be the winner in the end!
I’m Out!
-Vinny Vegas
Get in with the mucksters