Another Mucking Blog

Viva Vitaly!

Vitaly Lunkin that is!

Seriously this Russian knows how to play poker (and here I thought poker was so not in the COMMIE spirit!) Anyway, in the kickoff event for ESPN’s 2009 WSOP coverage very few hands were shown of Vitaly. Maybe it’s the fact that the young guns Isaac Haxton, Justin Bonomo, Noah Schwartz, or the other 20 something year olds that made up the final table were just a tad more camera friendly eye candy Or maybe its because Vitaly speaks about 7 words of English and they include the terms “all in” and ” F the US!” (Not sure about the last one but you know he’s been spoon fed Anti-American propaganda his whole life, but hey at least it wasn’t anti-poker propaganda). So with that in mind you have to ask yourself how like did Vitaly do so well and come from behind to take home his second WSOP bracelet? (P.S. 2 bracelets is so hotter than one).

Well when you take into account how many hands were probably played in comparison to how many are actually aired you get a ration of something like 10 to 1. So with that in mind Vitaly probably played agressive on the blinds (boring to watch if you’re not a fiend like me) And then he waited for his pivital moments to strike. And strike he did! When only two players remained it was Vitaly and that cuttie Isaac Haxton who went at it heads-up. And what a heads-up game it was. Not once, not twice, but three times Haxton aggressively went all in pre-flop only to have Vitaly call with the better hand. (See boys, it doesnt always pay to be agressive, tee hee )


One instance Haxton had K 10 off suited and to his suprise Lunkin was the bearer of pocket aces. It seemed the end was over for Haxton at that point but OH NO! Not even close. A king came on the flop and the river…well after the turn Haxton asked for “one time give me a ten, just one time”…and BAM a 10! Haxton doubled up and Vitaly was recorded cursing in Russian which is OK cause network TV only bleeps English profanities.

But that’s besides the point. What counts is that Haxton had depleted his “one time”, cause the next time he boldly went all in the poker Gods were like “Dude seriously!” because it was all over and Lunkin took home his second WSOP bracelet and a $1.9 Million US dollars (Does Cha Ching translate the same into Russian!)

KISS

-Debbie Deuece Dallas

Poker people mark your calendars, itineraries, student planners, make a sticky note or write it on the back of your hand because ESPN coverage of the 2009 WSOP is about to kick off! Starting Tuesday, July 28th (at 8 PM ET) the days of WSOP reruns are over (and not a moment too soon cause I swear if I saw Chris Moneymaker knock Johnny Chan out one more time I was going to pick up Johnny’s stupid orange and throw it at someone).

ESPN is going all-in with this WSOP as they promised us a spectacle beyond belief. With 40 cameras used to cover this years WSOP (NBC used 35 to cover Super bowl XLIII) which is airing in 25 countries on 5 continents over span of 16 weeks, not only will we get a front row view to the run up of the Main Event final table (Go Phil!) but we’ll experience the the Special 40th Annual $40,000 No Limit Hold’em event where the prize pool is up to $7.7 Million. Can you imagine if this were a re-buy event? And we will move beyond the railing at the Rio (with out a buy-in) to watch previous Main Event winners duke it out in the Champions Invitational, and witness celebrities like Matt Damon show off their poker faces in the Ante Up for Africa Celebrity – Charity Event . Not to mention the 24 hour coverage of the Main Event ESPN promised us. But the question remains, who will take home the gold bracelets? Will it be a dark horse, a seasoned veteran, a rising Internet star, or maybe some rich fool who thinks lady luck likes to flirt with him? And if you all ready know (cause your part of that select group of people who likes to read the news) then just enjoy the sweet editing and camera work the boys over at ESPN cooked up for us because hey, it took them long enough!

So set your TIVO’s or rummage up one of those VCR things and record each Tuesday night cause we are guaranteed two episodes a week with commentary by veteran announcer (yet novice poker player) Lon McEachern, who makes the WSOP sound like the greatest thing since bread and butter, and the sarcastic Norman Chad (I can’t wait to hear him bash on the Poker Brat this year, especially his over extravagant entrance as Cesar). Look for the featured table with the likes of Phil “The Tiger Woods of Poker” Ivey, Phil “Poker Brat” Hellmuth, Scotty “the Train” Nguyen, Bertrand “Elky” Grospellier, and many more names that have come to dominate this game…give me time, I’ll be there soon…one day I hope!

-Debbie Deuce Dallas

The ESPN 2009 WSOP SCHEDULE

After 8 days of blood, sweat, cards, chips and 6,494 soldiers the hard fought battle is almost over. With only 10% claiming any sort of glory the battle field of the 2009 WSOP Main Event has been one heck of a fight. But alas, the world will know the chosen few who have risen above the rest. The world will know the ones who have endured so much, who had to sacrifice and looked inside them selves to see what they are made of. The world will know the November 9.

Presenting the worlds 9 newest MILLIONAIRES.

2. Eric Buchman: 34,800,000 chips.

He’s no amateur or a surprise to be apart of this elite group. In 2006 he was runner up in the WSOP $1,500 event so this time he’s going balls to the wall in his quest for his first bracelet.

6. Kevin Schaffel: 12,390,000 chips.

The 51 year old veteran of Florida came in 42 in the 1994 WSOP Main Event. It’s taken him 15 years to get another shot at the bracelet so let’s see if his 15 year wait will end in a new piece of jewelry.

Since we’re well in the money at the 2009 WSOP Main Event I want to give my girl Kara Scott a shout out for being the only woman to cash in both the 2008 and 2009 Main Event.

With that in mind I wonder why women get such a “bad rap” when it comes to our poker skills. I mean I think the real verdict on us, women, is that we’re just smarter with our money so far less of us take to gambling as a serious thing. I mean look at Annette Obrestad, this woman, who was 18 at the time, took top notch at the 2007 WSOP Europe Main Event being the youngest and first woman to win a WSOP Main Event.

That should like totally put all you haters in your place. But if it doesn’t I dare you to tell me tell me Vanessa Roussu or Annie Duke is a chum…I double dare you…cause then I will kick you in the balls and call you a stupid stupid man!

For heavens sake we girls should not be over looked at the tables. On the contrary, we should be your biggest fears. Because when you see a sea of testosterone Moby Dicks wanting to whip it out right there on the felt the first set of T&A should be your wake up call. That little “sweetie” is there to play and may be the one who takes all your cash and your ignorance could be your undoing.

Let’s take STRIP POKER for example. More than likely your going to call an all in from a girl because:

a. She’s a girl and you want to see the goodies.
b. Your an ignorant horny guy who thinks girls are always “bluffin with their muffin”.

So unless you have got the nuts your not going to see any skin because this little lady is using her ASSets and the fact that your male to her advantage . She knows your going to call her all in and is pushing in with the nuts simply because you have nuts. Now hows that for reverse psychology!

Bottom line. Put your egos away! Stop being stupid ignorant horny SOB’s and fear us ladies! Other wise my girls Shannon Elizabeth and Evelyn Ng are going to eat you for lunch! I mean there is a reason some women find all ladies events harder than regular tourneys. It’s because when silly boys aren’t drooling on the felt we actually have to beef up our poker faces.

So next time you see that fine young thang looking all seductive and sexy across from you as she caresses her chips…remember that SHE’S A POKER PLAYER TOO!

KISS
-Debbie Deuce Dallas

What’s up all you Mucksters? Vinny Vegas here and we just got back from Vegas and what a mucking awesome 4th of July weekend it was (more like 6 day weekend). It was so sick staying at the Rio with Poker Palooza going down as the WSOP Main Event kicked off. I was in Poker Heaven, taking down pots with the greats and meeting some mucking awesome people, but hey its Vegas so what did you expect.

First off I got to say the 2009 World Series of Poker is one for the books. I’m talking about 57 bracelets in 50 days. And with the main event under way who knows whats gonna happen next. I mean damn this years Main Event is the third largest in the 40 year life span of the WSOP, with a total of 6,494 players creating a prize pool of $61,043,600. And if your in the lucky 10% who make the money then your going to at least double up your investment because the last 648 players at least are taking home $21,365.

But who will be in the 10%? And from where? This year the WSOP has players from 99 different countries. And if your keeping count (which we are) the US has all you other countries owned in terms of bracelets. But your probably asking “how many bracelets has the US won Vinny?”

34 bracelets you Muckers! Next is Canada with 3! So I’m putting my money that its going to be Americans who are the lucky 9 to make the final table and guaranteed a million dollar pay day of at least $1.26 Million.

So get your calenders ready and start counting down 114 days cause that’s how long we got till the Final Table Showdown! And until then we just need to wait 21 days until we get to enjoy the WSOP action on (witch ESPN filmed with 40 mucking cameras WTM! That’s 5 more than this years Super Bowl used!)


Howdy Yall, this be your favorite Cowboy Connor. All I can say is I MUCKING LOVE VEGAS BABY! YEEHA!

All righty, enough about the reasons I wake up with morning glory. I want to take a moment and step back from all the ladies and Main Event Action and really pay tribut (did I spell that right Vin? Get the dictionary…muck it!)…anyway I wanted to pay this tribut thang to Ante Up For Africa.

Oh and did I mention Ben Affleck (oh my god that boy looked fine! Sorry Vinny but I would have so gone back to his room if he asked me to…TEE HEE) So all I can say is yes I agree with Connor, there should be like totally way more of these eye candy…I mean Ante up for Africa events…TOTALLY!

OK, so Lisa Hamilton (this years WSOP Ladies Champion) I have a bone to pick with you. I know going out on day 1 of the Main Event is frustrating but I can’t believe you vowed to never play in a tourney again. I mean damn girl I so like want to throw down with you! And you all ready proved you got what it takes (that bracelet of yours that you didn’t get to long ago should be a nice little reminder). So please please please don’t make good on your vow. Cause this year the Mucksters were out having fun in Vegas but next year look for us in chairs with chips at the WSOP! And hopefully you’ll be right there with us.