Another Mucking Blog

Here’s the 5 best images to hustle & flow when it comes to cards and felt!

If your a guy, be a dick, if female, act like your PMSing and just a super, duper, ultra Barbra Streisand type of bi*#!. All that requires for this one is to be MEAN! Don’t take crap from nobody and make sure that any sign of friendliness towards you is a death sentence for the unlucky sucker who said “Howdy Partner.” 

Just pretend you speak 7 words of English, and make sure that those words include “Sexy time!” If some one tries to talk to you either laugh like that stupid hyena, Ed, from the Lion King or pretend like they’re coming on to you and slip them a note with your hotel room # on it. 

The title pretty much sums it up. Bottom line…DONT SHUT UP! Talk and talk loud. Create a craze. Get drunk…but not too drunk. Hit on the woman that brings you your drinks, pull a line from Mel Gibson and call her “Sugar Tits McGee!” Then turn to the man next to you and ask if he has any daughters. 

Picture a frat guy who  wants the world to know his parents have a trust fund for him some where back East. Ok now take that guy and put him in at a poker table. That’s him. The Guchi, the D&B, the bling bling, if he has his ears pierced you know he’s got rocks in em! This guys got cash to burn and he will take you all in just cause he can, and then he says “Ha! Back to the slums for you!” whenever he takes the pot. Make sure to play smart with this image other wise your going home fast! 

Enough said. You need to be like that huge sign on the side of the freeway that caused a 40 care pile up cause people couldn’t stop looking at it. It is a priority to wear any and every piece of clothing you can with some form of sponsorship on it.  I’m not talking about any generic spots. If your bald slap some sticker on it! If you got a beard, braid in some brand named beads like Johnny Depp Pirates of the Caribbean style! Quick tip, most poker sites sell clothing so just invest in some. Keep it cool. Play some good hands and let the Brand Names intimidate the rest! 

-Cowboy Connor