YEE HA Lakers Fans!
This here is your favorite Cowboy. Now I know your all ecstatic about getting another NBA Championship (15th for the franchise, and 4 for Kobe) but it is time for the city of LA to be good Lakers fans.
Here are the top 5 ways NOT to celebrate our 15TH Lakers championship.
#5 Don’t Prove Your Lakers Manhood
So what exactly does this mean? It means being so drunk that you want to pick a fight with some one because you’re “the bigger Lakers fan!” It starts with a slight bump during the party in the street and then you like “Hey watch it Orlandoian!” And the the other drunk dude is going to be like “What you call me? I’m a bigger Lakers fan than you!” Next thing you know your either bloody or in cuffs.
#4 Don’t tip over cars.
Sure it sounds cool and you could have a nice drunken story to tell about how you “Totally tipped over a car!” But all in all, you probably just tipped over a Lakers fan’s car and he’s gonna come back from proving his Lakers Manhood and be like “What the muck!”
#3 Don’t Complain that LA won in Orlando and not at Home
This one cracks me up! You won the championship for crying out loud! I mean ok sure you might have wanted to use the home win as an excuse to go rioting (MORE THAN ALREADY TOOK PLACE) and grab a new TV but we all know how the Watts riots turned out. We all know.
#2 Don’t spend the next week partying.
Sure its great an all that LA won and the whole city is going crazy, but believe it or not some people in LA don’t like the Lakers (crazy right, that’s like being a US born terrorist). But any way with the economy so bad and you absent from work for a week might give these Laker haters a chance to swoop in on your job. I know, that’s cold, but they are Laker haters after all.
#1 Don’t Fly to Orlando in a #24 Kobe Brant Jersey and do a victory dance all over the city.Yes I know it sounds like a good idea. And what a better way to gloat that to do the Peter Griffin victory dance in front of Amway Arena, then city hall, and then Disney World, but the bottom line…there are more Orlandoians than you. Enough said.
-Cowboy Connor
P.S. I called it. Lakers in 5.
Get in with the mucksters