May 29

wsop day 2 300x294 Hungover, Confused, but I got the WSOP DAY 2 Hookup!

Shit! This morning I woke up with my pants around my ankles, had the taste of a stripper’s spit in my mouth and the first thought that hit me was “FUCK! I forgot to see how great it is to grow old and turn 40!”


Now you’re probably asking yourself, and me, why is it so great to be 40 Mr. Cowboy Connor? Don’t you just get smelly and fat and and get Dunlap Disease (that’s where your so fat that your fat hangs over your belt). And I will respond with…every one smells below the waist. Even sexy ladies.


But 40! Well the WSOP turned 40 and what did it do for it? Well if you don’t mother mucking know by now then you’re as useless as my deflated blow up doll Baba (that’s her name)!


I’m talking about the the 40th anniversary No-Limit Hold’em $40k event! And it started yesterday! Shit bitch. If you didn’t know that I should ship you back to Hong Kong in a crate with no air holes!


Any way enough about the Chinese…here’s the run down.


Bruno ‘King’ Fitoussi is currently the top pimp smacking 812,500 chips out of the rest of those silly ass hoes.


Well one man who aint no sucka is the #2 playa from Hotlanta, my man, the 2003 WSOP champion, the man who turned $39 bones into 2.5 Million, Chris Moneymaker (Mayans prophesized about him which is why he has the surname, which is in fact his real name). He currently sits on a pot of 805,000 chips.


Hopefuls who aint out of this bitch are hottie McHott Vanessa Rousso (and I hope she stays there cause WooEee does she look good on the  ol’ tube) as well as Phil Ivey, and Huck Seed.


Also I want to give a shout out to Andrew Cohen who took home the first bracelet (lucky SOB) and $83,778 big ones for winning the event #1. Good shit.


And with that said. I’m gonna go back to sleep.


If you wake me, I’ll kill you!
Cowboy Connor
Posted in Connor's Crap | 1 Comment »
May 28

bubble boy copy 289x300 Pop Goes the Bubble Boy! Day 1 @ the WSOP is in the Books!

What the muck is up poker players, enthusiasts, and broke ass suckers who bleed chips!

In case you’ve been living under a rock or imprisoned by some crazy ex-girlfriend the WSOP started yesterday so here’s a quick rundown of the rundown to the mo mo mo monAY!


With the bubble boy getting eliminated we have finally reached the pay out of the cash money. And no, the bubble boy does not refer to Jake Gyllenhaal, I’m talking about the unluckiest player in the WSOP, he’s the poor chap that was so close, yet so far to getting some bones. Instead he gets the satisfaction of knowing that the guy who gets eliminated right after him will be taking home some bacon. MMM Bacon!
Who doesn’t love bacon? Even vegans love bacon at the WSOP!


And so from 866 soldiers only 48 are left alive. A moment of prayer for those who have parted.


…moment…


Ok, now back to the good shit!
After Day 1 are current chip leader is Cesar Chavez, named after, well Cesar Chavez (I’m guessing) with 107,700 chips. Close on his tail is Casey Kuhn with 101,300 chipedies.


But don’t think they’re on easy street to the final table. WHAT THE MUCK PEOPLE! This is the WSOP were talking about. And about a two dozen players are in prime striking distance in the 80,000 chip range.


Now on to Day 2! This is where shit gets exciting. I hope your holding on to your seats. I know i am!


-Vinny ‘Mutha Muckin’ Vegas
Posted in Vinny's View | 5 Comments »
May 27

connor massage2 World Series of Massages...I mean poker!

Tournament Director of the WSOP, Bill Bruce, gave free massages to the first table to get a Full House. That should have been my table! Crap, I’ll give you a full house right now!


It happened 10 seconds after Mr. Bruce made the announcement. Aaron Kelly from table 27 may have won the hand (Aces full of eights) but his table all got the royal deal as nine massage masters bent each player over on the table and went to work!


That reminds of this chick in China Town who used to give me really, really good massage, if you know what I’m saying…at least until she got deported. I think her name was Ling Ling or something like that.  She used to work me like a great dane on a bitch!


Anyways, I’m envious (yeah! I got a thesaurus!) You people just don’t understand how hard my life is. All day long I sit and drink beer and play cards. Talk about stress. I get that carpal tunnel like syndrome accept in my neck and shit. Man, have you ever tried to re-read poker faces that are constantly changing? I mean damn! It’s like trying to read a book for crying out loud! All I’m saying is I could use a good massage right now…and maybe a happy ending.


Cowboy Connor
Posted in Connor's Crap | 2 Comments »
May 22

wsop2009 2 The Return of the Mac Daddy of all Poker Tourneys...This One is Known to Put Out

In just a few days the 40th annual mack daddy of all poker tournaments will commence. That is the WSOP and man, have I been hungry for the action.

This year 57 bracelets and millions in dinero (That’s George Washingtons for all you not on the west coast who have been spoon fed Spanish since kindergarten) are up for grabs.

But enough about that. Why should this year be any different or more exciting than the last?

BECAUSE IT MUCKING WILL BE!!!!!

This year, up for grabs is the bragging rights to be called the:

CHAMPION OF CHAMPIONS

To celebrate the 40th anniversary a Champions Invitational will be held, with only previous main event champions . The royal throw down will begin on May 31st. It will bring together the likes of Johnny Chan, Phil Hellmuth, Chris Moneymaker, Peter Eastgate, and many more. The winner will get two sick prizes that I would kill to have (seriously so you better watch yourself TBD champion of champions). The first prize is a sick-ass fully-restored 1970 Chevrolet Corvette and the Binion Cup, a commemorative trophy that honors the family that started the WSOP 40 years ago.

Who will be the Champion of Champions?

And who else will take home bracelets this year? Will it be veterans? Or unknowns? Or will it be me? Ha ha.

Only time will tell…

-Vinny Vegas

Posted in Vinny's View | 2 Comments »
May 20
phelpbg 300x222 Michael Phelps, An All American Hero Who Loves Poker, Pot, & Pussy...a.k.a. my kind of Hero
Get this. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps should “get another gold medal for- “LOVE MAKING!” straight from the lips of stripper Theresa White (FYI she’s smoking hot! Google her!). Supposedly our boy of Beijing hit that for 3 hours straight!!

And they said all that bong toking would leave him out of shape. 

On top of all that, Phelps been known to be schooled by the master pros @ poker too! Dammmmnn… son! 

Now we all seen his secret for success — he be hittin’ that bong like any good ol’ American SOB. Which is dope for the doped. But forrealz tho, I don’t know why they be hatin’ on his multi-tasking skills. Is poker addiction even a bad thing when you get to stackin’ chips real high (while you’re gettin’ high at that) and rubbin’ elbows amongst the high stakes tables? I heard he be switchin’ his game over to online poker rooms too so that means my odds of running into my new idol is THAT much better now!

Thanks Mike, without you, I never thought I had a big brother to look up to. But I got one. And he’s American. And all them haters should leave him the MUCK alone!!!!
-Vinny Vegas
Posted in Vinny's View | 6 Comments »